Weekend Post #29: Meet Tasha Yar’s #1 Fan

Hey, I Hate Star Wars Club members. It is my honor to day to introduce this blog’s first guest poster, Tasha Yar’s #1 Fan. Please show her the same respect and admiration that you’ve always showed me.

Hey everybody, I met William Shatner’s #1 Fan while playing the Star Trek RPG after our Cyber Horizon Club's meeting. We hit it off right away and he’s agreed to let me make a post. First of all, I want to express my deep honor to be associated with our clubs founder. Thanks to The De Shatner Code, he was able to identify me as a club member. My deep understanding of the RPG as well as my extensive dice collection eventually gained his trust and I’m honored to call him my friend. Though, he is JUST a friend. Our relationship is strictly plutonic.

Anyway, I don’t want to talk about my life. As WS#1F has said, this blog is about destroying Star Wars, not talking about my problems. I want to talk about Tasha Yar. Though her life was short lived, it was truly extraordinary. Beginning her life on a horrible planet with gangs, constant civil war, and terrorist assaults, she was able to escape that life and eventually became Chief of Security on the Federation flag ship. Unfortunately, her death by the tar monster came much too soon. Fortunately, we were able to see the hottest guest star the show ever had, Tasha’s little sister (I’m not gay like Luke Skywalker; I just think she’s pretty). Later, thanks to Guinan, we find out that through a time travel event Tasha Yar was sent back in time 30 years and served aboard the Enterprise C where she was captured by Romulans and eventually mothered the first Human/Romulan child who later appeared to Picard trying to force a war with the Klingons.

Compare that with Natalie Portman’s character Padme. She… was born into a royal family presumably… Then, she used her royal connections to be elected to the galactic senate… And then she… Made kissy face with some dorky looking loser (not dreamy like Riker, or my future boyfriend WS#1F) and died alone on some miserable planet, and the only person who cared was James Earl Jones doing the worst acting of his career. He sounded like that famous soccer guy.

Evil Emperor: It would seem that you killed her.
James Earl Jones: She’s dead? GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Clearly, Tasha Yar is a better babe than Padme. As William Shatner’s #1 Fan would say, never let anyone tell you that Star Trek and Star Wars are the same because they have a good looking girl in it again.

This is Tasha Yar’s #1 Fan. Until next time, viewer off.