Weekday Post #69: A “Capitol” Idea
I recently overheard someone on the subway say that congress is working to create a ban on flag burning. Normally, I don’t care about politics because it is boring and stupid, but this statement gave me a great idea. Congress wants to ban flag burning because it hurts the children of America. Surely then, they should embrace the idea of banning other things that hurt America’s youth… like Star Wars!
Easily impressionable young people whose minds have not fully developed might believe that it’s okay to criticize this country if they see a flag engulfed in flames. Likewise, they might believe that it’s okay to be stupid if they see Star Wars for sale at the store. These are both urgent issues that require our lawmaker’s immediate attention.
The I Hate Star Wars Club officially calls for a constitutional amendment barring the sale or existence of any Star Wars paraphernalia. All Star Wars DVDs, toys, so-called books, VHS tapes, and those stupid laser disc things from the 80s are to be collected by National Guardsmen and Volunteer Militia and Minutemen and burned in a giant bonfire at Skywalker Ranch. Heavy fines will be imposed on anyone who mentions the words “Star Wars” within fifty years after the bonfire so that the memory of those films may fade unimpeded from our society’s collective consciousness. The government shall encourage post-bonfire viewings of Star Trek movies, although they shall not be required because it is imperative that free speech be preserved.
I need every member of the I Hate Star Wars Club and anyone else who is concerned about the lowering IQ in America to sign this blog’s comments section as an online petition. I will send all the signatures to Congress so that anti-Star Wars legislation can begin as quickly as possible. Please don’t write anything but your name because I’m busy reading this book (which as you all know is AWESOME!) so I don’t really have the time or the interest in reading anything beyond that.
posted by William Shatner's #1 Fan @ 8:32 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I hate Abu Hamza because he wants to destroy my country. I hated the guy that detached my retina at school because he thought he was cool and hard, but I have never met anybody who claims to hate a fictional tale about good guys and bad guys fighting in a distant universe.
What’s to hate? Hate is a strong word, and I could believe you used it in haste if you hadn’t gone to the bother of making a website so you can tell the world about your hate.
It’s a sodding film for fecks sake. If you dislike it don’t watch. If you hate it see a doctor.
I want to know how you came to the conclusion that Star Wars hurts youth and lowers everyone's IQ who watches it. As my hero, Carl Sagan once said, "Extordinatry claims, require Extrodinary Evidence!" So far, there is NO proof that Star Wars lowers IQ more than any other TV or film, so tell me how you came to that conclusion. If you cannot give me enough unbiased proof beyond reasonable doubt, that I will not believe you.
Star wars does not lower IQ. It has been estimated, however, that when "William Shatner's #1 fan" dies, the average IQ of the country will go up a fraction.
The fact that you can anonamously slander others on the internet does inspire douch-baggery doesn't it? Don't post something you are not prepared to back up with evidence and say to peoples faces mate.
I can justify my first statement, by the way. The outrageous claim I made was for satirical purposes and I would be prepared to say it to his face because it is my firm belief that I am much, much more intelligent than any fool on the internet for slander.
I don't hate Star Wars. I don't hate the Shat. I can live loving both.
STAR WARS IS FOR FUCKING SHIT RETARD MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS JUST LIEK YOU, YES YOU WHO IS READING THIS!
STAR WARS IS CUNT SHIT FUCK SPASTIC RETARDED SHIT FOR CUNTS!
'Politics is boring and stupid' the stupidest thing I have ever heard said in the history of my existence, without politics your precious star wars wouldn't exist you dumb fuck. And no star wars doesn't lower a persons I.Q, reading your blog does that. And I say this as a person that hates both star trek and star wars, they are both equally as stupid and equally as boring. Go back to shitting yourself mr 'shat.' Your blog is comedy gold, which means your blog is a joke, and if your blog is a joke, that makes you the punchline to that joke, shit you're the punchline to every other joke that was ever conceived.
Bro you need a life star wars has make over 20 billion in revenue and your stuck working at Mcdonalds part time. Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick
Post a Comment
<< Home