Weekday Post #66: You Could Have the Honor of Working with Me

I have to get a new job soon. No job is worth an hour-long commute on the subway. Not to mention that my manager isn’t working with me at all on my school schedule and I start classes in a week. It doesn’t help things that my stupid apartment is halfway across the city from anywhere I need to go. I asked all of my coworkers except the gay if I could move in with them and they all said they didn’t want a roommate right now. I even offered to pay 75% of the rent and they still all said no. Star Wars goons each and every one of them.

Telemarketing is the only job I’ve ever known. I’ve always made a decent living at it (even after the Star Wars goons in the government passed that business-infringing Do Not Call List) and by using the DaShatner Code, I’ve gotten to speak to a lot of club members. Unfortunately, I think it is time to say goodbye to that profession. I need a job that’s closer to where I live and that offers flexible hours so that I can go to school.

I have Saturday off so I am going to spend the day looking for a new job. I know that there are thousands of I Hate Star Wars Club members in this city and surely one of you would relish the opportunity to hire me so that you could have the honor of working with your club president. My skills include calling people on the phone and reducing Star Wars goons to tears. If you would like to give me a job, please email me as soon as possible. Please keep in mind that even though the job I do for you will never be more than a third priority for me (first is maintaining this blog and destroying Star Wars and second is school), by hiring me you will be assisting in our shared goal of decimating Star Wars.