Weekday Post #24: Raising Star Trek Fans in a Star Wars Obsessed World

I just learned that my brother’s wife is pregnant with their third child. They weren’t planning on any more kids so this is a big surprise for the family. Although my mom is excited to have a fourth grandbaby (my sister has a daughter), I can’t help but reflect on how frightening it is to raise children in a world so overrun with the vile filth of Star Wars. Everywhere that kids look, there are ads for Star Wars proclaiming that it’s okay to be stupid. The cataclysmic worldwide saturation of Yoda Pepsi cans, Jar Jar Binks dollies, and Darth Vader voice-changing masks is enough to scare a rational person out of bringing children into the world.

Not having any children of my own—or the opportunity to create children (hey, at least I’m not as old as that 40-Year-Old Virgin guy!)—I do what I can to ensure that my niece and two nephews grow up as Star Trek fans. Realizing that some I Hate Star Wars Club members may be luckier in love than I and have children of their own, I have decided to share some of my tips for ensuring that young children realize the truth about Star Wars early so that they’ll know to avoid it in their adult lives. For the remainder of this week, the I Hate Star Wars Club Official Blog will post a series called “William Shatner’s #1 Fan’s Great Parenting Advice.” This series will primarily help parents new to the I Hate Star Wars Club with basic advice but even if you’ve been teaching your children to love Star Trek for years, I guarantee you’ll learn some helpful new techniques.