Weekday Post #21: The Star Wars Curse pt 2

One day, Natalie Portman wanted to get some acting work. However, she remembered what happened when she auditioned for a part in the Barky Chow Dog Food commercial. “Hmmm,” she said to herself. “How can I get some acting work when everyone knows what a terrible job I did in Star Wars?” Then she had a wicked idea. She went to her computer, opened her resume, and began to edit.

The next day she went to audition for the role of “Girl amazed by smiling man’s golf club” in a commercial for a once-daily all-natural male enhancement herbal supplement pill. She met the director and handed him her resume.

He looked at it and said, “This is very impressive. You’ve been in Bend it Like Beckham, King Arthur, The Jacket, Love Actually, and Domino. Oh, and I see you were nominated for best actress in Pride and Prejudice. Pity you haven’t been in any Star Trek movies, but nobody’s perfect and this is an otherwise impressive list of films, Miss Knightley.”

Natalie Portman giggled because her plan had worked; the director thought she was Keira Knightley.

“Still, I can’t help but think that you’re forgetting something,” the director said as he scratched his head and continued examining the resume. “There’s a movie that should be on this list that isn’t… Oh, that’s right—you were in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.”

Natalie panicked. Her therapist had helped her block that traumatic movie from her mind so she had forgotten that Keira Knightley had played her handmaiden and body double.

The director’s face turned bright red. “How dare you waste my time auditioning for this demanding role after you insulted the intelligence of the entire world with that miserable performance? Get the hell out of my office,” he screamed. “You’ll never find acting work again!”

Natalie fled from the office in tears; she never worked in Hollywood again.