Weekday Post #13: A Clear Victory in the Lost Battle

This weekend, I discovered that the show Lost was nothing more than a conspiracy designed to trick people into watching Star Wars movies. You can read the details in Weekend Post #6. After presenting my case on this blog, I realized that the people who most needed to know the truth about Lost, the fans themselves, might not be members of the I Hate Star Wars Club. To save those people who unknowingly stood in desperate need of my help, I decided to take the fight to the Lost podcasters and bloggers who naively spread the Star Wars message to their small audiences.

Sunday afternoon I found as many Lost blogs and podcasts as I could and I emailed them all with this letter:

Subject: You Have Been Deceived by Lost
Attention Lost Fans,
ABC has bamboozled you. Lost is not the show that you think it is. The entire series is nothing more than a colossal advertisement for Star Wars. I know how the series will end and I offer proof positive on my blog.
http://ihatestarwarsclub.blogspot.com/
I strongly advise you to read it so you don't waste another second of your lives on a lie. Please let everyone who reads your blog or listens to your podcast know that ABC has stabbed them in the back by using them as unknowing pawns in their maniacal quest for worldwide Star Wars saturation.
Please let me know any way I can help you overcome your damaging Lost addiction. I'm a friend and I'm here to help.
Yours truly,

William Shatner's #1 Fan

I am pleased to report that my efforts have already proven immensely successful. Last night I listened to a Lost podcast to see how they would react to my email and I was overjoyed to hear an amazing three references to Star Trek in the show. Although I was angered that they didn’t refer to Captain Kirk by name, I forgave them because they didn’t mention Star Wars once.

It’s a little boring because they talk a lot about Lost but you can listen to the show for yourself here.

Clearly, the podcasters took my message to heart and decided to fight back against the Star Wars advertising team at ABC by not-so-subtly endorsing Star Trek. I was a little surprised that they didn’t mention whether or not they were going to join in my Lost boycott, but their actions still send a strong message to the fat cats at ABC that they want Lost to contain references to quality Sci-Fi like Star Trek and not unrealistic schlock like Star Wars. If enough Lost fans join them in their courageous battle, ABC will have no choice but to drop the Jedi nonsense and refer to anything cool that any character does as “a Captain Kirk moment.” And that, my friends, would be the next best thing to having the show removed from the air.