Weekday Post #8: Am I Like Sulu or Kirk?

Why the fuss over Brokeback Mountain? Gay cowboys don’t promote the gay lifestyle, Jedi promote the gay lifestyle! Even when they claim to be in love with girls, it’s not believable. Where were the protests and riots over Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith? Didn’t anyone notice that an old man straps Anakin to a table and dresses him in a giant black S&M suit at the end of the movie for no apparent reason? SICK!
You’ll never find gay-bashing Star Trek fans anyway. We love gay people because Helmsman Sulu is gay. Sometimes, when my mom asks me when I’m going to get a girlfriend and move out of the house, I wonder if I might be gay like Mr. Sulu. But then I watch Kirk make out with hot space babes and I realize that I am all about the ladies. But I still wouldn’t mind changing places with one of those ladies for the opportunity to make out with the Shatman! That doesn’t make me gay though so shut up!