Weekday Post #6: The Blaspheme of Frank Caliendo

I saw a commercial last night in which I learned that tomorrow’s episode of MadTV will feature a sketch in which Frank Caliendo portrays William Shatner. I don’t think I need to tell you how upset that made me. The idea is offensive and wrong on every conceivable level.

Mr. Caliendo, I am begging you to please not do this. While it’s true that your impersonations generally capture the spirit of the celebrity you are lampooning quite well—you do a dead on John Madden which would probably make me laugh if I knew anything about him (I don’t watch baseball)—you simply do not have the required acting skills to embody such a tremendous performer as William Shatner. No one will ever believe that you’re actually him, and that will ruin whatever joke you’re hoping to make. I hate to disappoint you, but when my screenplay of William Shatner’s life story is made into a movie (fingers crossed), I can assure you that you will not be cast in the lead role. I doubt that any actor great enough for the role will ever be found so I will likely have to play the part myself, for I truly understand both aspects of William Shatner—the man and the legend. Sorry, I’m digressing. Mr. Caliendo, I’m asking you out of human decency to not perform your William Shatner skit tomorrow night. I, and the billions of other Shatnemaniacs, would consider it sacrilege! Why not do something funny like making fun of Anakin Skywalker? You could show how he cries like a little girl every time a Tribble beats him up. Or, if you simply must portray William Shatner, show him doing something really Shatneresque like stomping Anakin Skywalker’s scrawny ass. If you ignore my request and carry on with your current plans then I will have no choice but to demand a boycott of MadTV! Oh wait, nobody watches that crap show anyway. The American people can’t boycott something they don’t know exists! Suck on that Frank Caliendo!