Weekend Post #23: The Trouble with Tribbles pt 5

One day, Anakin Skywalker was in the hospital recovering from his latest altercation with a tribble. His nurse came into the room to read the computer print out with his health statistics.

After carefully analyzing the report she looked at Anakin and said, “We’ve managed to stop the internal hemorrhaging. Your body is also adjusting well to the new robotic foot. You were lucky that that tribble didn’t do more damage.” She snickered to herself as she pictured a four-inch ball of fur beating the pansy Sith Lord to within an inch of his life.

“That’s good news,” said Anakin. “I want to thank you for taking care of almost all of my needs. However,” his eyes glowed with an evil yellow tint as he paused for dramatic effect, “there is one need that is left unsatisfied.” He slapped the nurse on the butt. “How about it,” he asked, “my wife isn’t around and your nurse outfit is making me hot!”

“Sir!” cried the nurse as she quickly moved to the far end of the bed. “Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

“I don’t know,” said Anakin with a sneer. “Why don’t you tell me what dirty thoughts you think I have. And don’t move so far away, Nurse Naughty… I want to look at you up close!” He used the force to pull the nurse back to the side of the bed.

“You are a married man,” said the nurse. “You don’t want to find out what happens to adulterers in this hospital!”

“My wife is an idiot. She doesn’t have a clue what I do! Besides, I won’t tell if you won’t.” Anakin used the force to pinch the nurse’s butt cheek.

The nurse gasped. “You are a very bad man!”

“That’s right, Nurse Naughty! I’m a bad Sith Lord and I need you to punish me! Aren’t you going to teach me a lesson?”

The nurse resisted the urge to vomit as she seductively said, “Let’s start with a sponge bath. I’ll just go get a sponge.”

“Now you’re talking!” said Anakin. He hurriedly untied the sash on his Sith Lord robe while the nurse stepped out of the room. He positioned himself in what he hoped was a sexy pose on his hospital bed and yelled, “I’m ready for you, Nurse Naughty!”

The nurse appeared in the doorway. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“You know it, baby!”

“All right, I hope you’re ready for the sponge!” She held up a small furry ball.

Anakin moaned in feigned ecstasy, “I am so ready!” As the nurse approached, Anakin noticed something strange. “Wait a minute,” he said, “that’s not a sponge… that’s a…”

“Whatever Sucka!” yelled the tribble as it leapt from the nurse’s hand and kicked Anakin in the face.

Anakin fell ass-first to the floor. The tribble twisted his arm behind his back. He spit up a mouthful of blood and three teeth. Although the pain in his arm was intense and the missing front teeth made it difficult to pronounce words, he managed to stammer a question to the nurse. “How could you?”

“It serves you right for being unfaithful to your wife!” The nurse walked up to Anakin and kicked him in the gut. “And that’s for calling me ‘Nurse Naughty!’ Find someone else to stick your robot limbs on for you next time!”

The tribble twisted Anakin’s wrist and his vision went black from the intense pain. He could hear the nurse walking out the door into the hallway. Before closing the door behind her she said, “I’ll send someone by in an hour or so to check on you. Tribble, do your worst.”

Before he surrendered completely to fear, Anakin realized that he had a new enemy. As soon as he healed from this battle, he not only had to get his revenge on the tribbles, he would also need to kill Nurse Naughty.