Weekend Post #21: Life After Star Wars

I got an email yesterday from an I Hate Star Wars Club member who asked two very intelligent questions that many of you are probably wondering about. With his permission, I am reprinting it here.

Dear William Shatner’s #1 Fan,
Your post last weekend in which you wrote a letter to the children of the future (Editor’s Note: He is referring to Weekend Post #20: My Letter to the Future) really got me thinking. I can’t wait for the day when Star Wars is finally wiped off the Earth and we can all live in the happy world that you described in your letter. I am wondering two things. How long do you think until that great day arrives and what will you do with yourself when it does?

Thank you again for those excellent questions. If you had asked me the first question two weeks ago, I would have said that Star Wars was in its final throws and would soon be defeated. However, my family’s horrid betrayal proved to me that the Star Wars goons are more powerful than I had believed. Though they are weak and led by fools, they have yet some fight left in them and I suspect that I must continue to make battle for at least another six months before I can destroy all trace of them.

As for your second question, other than hosting a worldwide celebration, I have no idea what I’ll do after I’ve destroyed Star Wars. I try not to think about that too much because fantasies of the future, which normally involve hordes of smoking hot babes throwing themselves at my feet and pleading to be the one to pluck my delicate virgin flower, distract me from the important task at hand. My philosophy is that I must manage the present appropriately if my desired future is to occur. I am confident that by successfully destroying Star Wars, all other aspects of my life will fall into place.