Weekend Post #16: I Fight for the Greater Good

My sister’s boyfriend came over for supper tonight. I was in sort of a pissy mood about it because my sister had told me not to talk about Star Trek or the I Hate Star Wars Club blog when he was over and my mom made me take my Starship Voyager model out of the living room. I felt like I was just supposed to be a doll who sat in the corner and never said anything. However, my mom cooked her world-famous stuffed cabbage (my favorite recipe), which cheered me up considerably.

After supper, we all sat in the living room to visit. I really wanted to go and watch Wrath of Khan, but my mother had insisted before dinner that I couldn’t “hide in my bedroom” as soon as I was done eating. But it was okay at first because the guy was actually pretty nice. I mostly kept my mouth shut and listened to everyone talk about the cool things he had done. He went to Bolivia last year to help dig wells for a village and the year before that he went to Ecuador to teach people some basic faming skills.

His other big thing was fighting for endangered species. Every time that he went to Central America, he spent part of his time studying the endangered species in the rain forest. Of course, at this point, I wanted to tell him about how Captain Kirk had saved the humpback whale from extinction in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, but every time I started to open my mouth, my sister would glare at me.

After telling a few more stories and talking with my mom a lot, he turned to me and said, “What do you do?” I told him that I was a telemarketer and he said, “No, I meant, what do you do in your spare time?” I didn’t know what to say. Both my sister and my mom had threatened my life if I brought up the I Hate Star Wars Club blog so I just sort of sat there looking dumb. He spared me though by bringing it up himself. “Your sister says you write a blog about Star Wars.”

“I write about hating Star Wars.” I paused, waiting for someone to say something, but everyone just stared at me so I added, “It sucks because it makes people stupid.”

He nodded and said, “Your sister tells me you spend quite a bit of time on the internet. She worries about you.” My sister tried to interrupt him but he continued, “Have you ever thought of using all that time for something more valuable?” I was immediately annoyed. He went on, “I think you’d be a lot happier if you directed your energy into volunteering at our non-profit.”

My sister said, “That really wouldn’t be—” but her boyfriend interrupted her again.

“We’re looking for someone with good computer and internet skills who can donate an hour or two a day to researching issues pertaining to endangered species and update our blog with news articles and commentary. You obviously have the time available, and I think you would feel a greater sense of self-satisfaction by helping us.”

I tried to smile politely as I said, “Thank you, but I think I’m more interested in writing about how much Star Wars sucks.”

He said, “Deforestation is killing as many as 1,000 species of plants and animals a year. Don’t you think that’s a little more important than whether or not people watch Star Wars or Star Trek?”

I’d had it. I didn’t yell at him, but I forcibly said, “For your information, Star Wars teaches that urbanization can spread across an entire planet, wiping out any rainforests that may have been there. That’s the ideology I’m fighting! Star Trek teaches us to respect and preserve nature! By telling everyone to quit watching Star Wars and to embrace the values of Star Trek, I’m doing more to protect the environment than you tree huggers will ever do! You should be helping me, not the other way around”

He looked like I had just blasted him with a phaser set to stun, undoubtedly shocked that I had so thoroughly dismantled his argument. My sister quickly mumbled some goodbyes to my mom and pulled her boyfriend towards the door. I smirked as I said it was really nice to meet him.

As my mom closed the door behind them she said, “What the hell is wrong with you? He’ll probably never want to come here again!”

I said, “I didn’t want to write his stupid blog for him!”

“You could have just politely said ‘no thank you’ and let the matter drop. But you had to go on and on with your nonsense about that stupid Star Wars blog saving the world!”

I said, “It isn’t nonsense! It’s true! And it’s obvious that my sister has been talking about me behind me back! Her boyfriend knew all about my blog even though I didn’t say a word about it. And why wasn’t I allowed to mention my blog when he could talk about his? Who does he think he is, coming into my apartment—”

“This isn’t your apartment,” my mom yelled. “It’s mine. I can’t have any company over because of your stupid obsession with Star Wars. I don’t want it to happen again! My guests will feel welcome in this house, do you understand me?”

I said, “The only people who don’t feel welcome around me are Star Wars goons. Are you planning on having some of them for dinner next weekend?”

My mom turned around and went to her bedroom without saying another word. I probably didn’t need to be so rude to her, but she needed to understand my point. I have a great calling in life and until I finish the work, there are going to be some challenges.

So now, my mom and my sister are mad at me again. It’ll blow off like it always does, but it still pisses me off that I’m in trouble for standing up for the truth. It makes me hate Star Wars even more. If that movie didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have to go through all this crap!